am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
