Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
