Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize