We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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