He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
