i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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