drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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