the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
