Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
