I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
