You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
