I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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