I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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