I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
