what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
