Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
