Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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