dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
