Please don't use social media to get back at me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
