I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
