Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
