You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
