You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
