I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We are all done wearing pants today
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
