I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
