Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
