I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
