I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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