is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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