new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
