I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
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at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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