i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
