So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
