today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
