You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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