Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize