Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
