I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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