Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
