did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
