Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
