she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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