Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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