your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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