Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
