He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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