it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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