Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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