All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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