I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish you could order shots online.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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