i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
