I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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