We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
