I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
