Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
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He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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