mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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