You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
