Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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