I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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